07 April 2010, Wed - Is This Too Early?

07 April 2010, Wednesday

Good Morning!!
I had tested this morning using the tester where darl bought for me last night. I'm feel nothing since yesterday. But this morning when i awake ready go to washroom, i'm starting to get worry. I'm been thinking how and how. How if i really kena this jackpot without prior notice? I'm really really havent ready for this yet. I'm wondering so many times, safety already do, why still will kena? I dont know and dont dare to think so much. Just step and step see how. I had left the tester away while i'm brush my teeth. I dont even have the brave to see the result when finish bush teeth and clean my face. But this feeling no longer around me, just take out and see. You know the result? You guess la ok. :'( Then i throw the thing and go to work.

Just now my mom fetch me to work again. In the car she ask me planned to do what. I just answer her i will see doctor. She ask me dont be so happy of it. Ask me go to see doctor with you. She want to know what i plan to do. But seriously my mind is blank, i cant think anything else. What should i do? I really no idea. What i really need? Yea, i need a family!! Well 10 months only. We are only together only, is this too early for me?

05 April 2010, God Bless Me!

05 April 2010, Monday

If dont talk with my mom, maybe i really didnt will know i have to scary. This few days feel my back bone is pain. When i'm walk, feel my leg like "chou gen". I dont feel any of if at first till ppl said that i'm fatter than last time. My mom ask me long i didnt come already. I dont know what i'm feeling now. I didnt feel worry or sad. Just i dont know is this the time for now. I have a responsible bf where just now he told me he will marry me. I planned only will have kid in 5 years later. Anyway i will buy the pregnancy tester tmr to test. Friday i will get to hospital check. But i'm never have this experience and what should i do now if that is really kena jackpot? I have no mood for a sudden. Read so much of arc title that how the man leave the girl after know the girl pregnant. Too much things i got to worry. :(

Yea, we had use dom everytime when comes to that. Why? Safety already do, may be have to give me punishment where i'm only the one who didnt doing the prevention. Haiz. Already dont want to blame anyone else beside me. Just i want to pray hard nothing to do with me. Please, God Bless Me!